As I write this it's 1:00 am, and I can't sleep because my mind is running in circles. I have been very stressed lately because of some pretty big changes happening in my life. I'm just thinking about everything I have to do, "Is this the right thing?" and "What if it all goes wrong?". I have to be very careful about letting myself think too much or I go down these spirals and end up crying in my room, wondering what I'm doing with my life.
After quitting my job, I spent most of August in Prince George with my parents and three of my brothers. In September, my oldest brother Mitchell and I drove down to Vancouver Island for a five-day hiking trip in Strathcona Park, and then we did an overnight steak dinner on top of Mount Arrowsmith. Now I'm back in Sooke, the town I call home, and I have three days to declutter and organize my life.
Having spent a month away from home with nothing but my dearest possessions in my backpack, I realized how much I don't need to be happy. But now, surrounded by all my stuff, I second-guess everything. "Maybe I'll need that later" and "I might miss that".
I know I just need to let go. I know I'm happier when I have fewer things. Honestly, most of it's yarn, and if you have a stash yourself, you know how hard it is to let go of any of it. But it's not my material possessions that are dragging me down. It's the uncertainty of what's happening.
I'm leaving my home for a job in Prince George, and I don't know what it's going to be like.
At the end of October, I'm flying to Mexico and living out of my backpack for the winter.
I am leaving this comfortable life that I spent three years creating, all my friends and family I surrounded myself with.
I am jumping into the deep end on an exciting, terrifying, amazing adventure, and I am so scared.
Gaelyn
And...she did it anyways.
That's called Courage!